If You Order Now, You'll Receive Yet More Plastic

I am not shy about admitting my dislike for junk mail. Worse than mere junk mail, I abhor junk mail that includes plastic items that add to our pollution problem. A few months ago, I complained to Comcast (the behemoth near-monopoly in the cable and entertainment business - in case you've been in a coma for the past decade), because they sent me weekly mailings that included credit-card-sized pieces of plastic, usually containing some drivel such as "Thank You" on them. Worthless, meaningless plastic waste. Upon my request, they removed me from their list for those mailings. I doubt they stopped mailing out those plastic cards to everyone else, though.

Plastic Fantastic

Today, to my amusement and dismay, I received another mailing from the good folks at AARP. You know, the organization for retired (or just plain old) people that offers its members assorted discounts on things, in exchange for a modest $16/year membership fee, and the right to sell all of your personal information to every marketing company in creation, in perpetuity. This mailing included not one, but two plastic cards. The first - a useless, simulated membership card. The second - even more worthless, telling you about a free gift you'll receive upon becoming a member. Neither of these items required a plastic, throwaway card, of course. My guess is that somewhere, some marketing guru did research to discover that receiving a plastic card fires certain synapses in the human brain, causing increased production of dopamine, feelings of euphoria, and the absolute need to part with one's money as quickly as possible. Is that how it works on you? Me - not so much.

The kicker was the text on the letter saying, "Printed on recycled paper," and "PLEASE RECYCLE." You know, because they care so much about the environment.

Oddly, the plastic cards seem to have the opposite of their intended effect on me. They do not give me even the slightest urge to send these companies any money. They simply make me want to write posts like this one, and fire off nasty messages to the companies, asking them to stop their needless pollution. Care to join me?