Plainly put, if you are thrilled about this technology because you cannot master the skill of parking your car effectively, you probably should not be operating a motor vehicle. The fact that you can point a 2-ton ballistic missile in a straight line and press two pedals does not a driver make. Parking one's car should not be something that we are above doing, nor should it be something that one can "take a pass" on, because "it's just too darned hard."
While taking a friend's daughter out for a driving lesson recently, we spent some time practicing how to parallel park. She kept repeating how much she hated it, and how scary it was. This is a generation that can manage to text 300 words/minute of nonsense to a person sitting in the same room, while excelling at their favorite virtual athletic activity on their Wii or Nintendo, while simultaneously watching commercials for the next toy that they cannot live without, while explaining to their parents why they weren't able to finish their homework or chores (do kids even have chores anymore?), because there just aren't enough hours in the day. But I digress.
There are an awful lot of awful drivers on the road today. Many are preoccupied with activities that should not be performed at the same time as operating a motor vehicle. Others simply don't take driving all that seriously, in the first place. Still others are simply ill-equipped to handle the responsibility of navigating the streets in a four-wheeled weapon. It is this last group that will be saluting and buying the cars that park themselves. They will still be a danger to the rest of us; only now, they'll be able to smile with glee and look around with pride, as onlookers marvel at how smart and talented their cars are.
This paragraph may ruffle some feathers, but I do not apologize for that. I often wonder if the invention of the automatic transmission was such a great idea. To drive a manual transmission-equipped car, you have to pay attention. You have to exercise good judgment, good physical coordination, and demonstrate a mastery of your vehicle. These are all good things. The manual transmission - like it or not - served as a legitimate filter for weeding out those people who were unable to achieve said mastery of their vehicle. This, despite being an inconvenience to some, was also a good thing. Shaving, applying makeup, eating, and exchanging text messages are all things that should be done before or after you drive your car or truck - not during the process. The manual transmission, like it or not, kind of forced drivers to - well... drive!
Our society (or, more accurately, our marketplace) constantly finds new ways to sell conveniences to the masses, thus enabling incompetent people to participate in activities that they perhaps should avoid. "So simple, an idiot can do it" doesn't necessarily mean that an idiot should. I am all for tools that enable someone who has no formal training in web design to throw together a pretty, drag-and-drop website. The worst that can come of that is a website that no one wants to visit. A bad or ignorant driver, bolstered by the confidence provided by a car that can do some of the driving for him - that almost guarantees potential trouble.
And when one of these cars malfunctions and bends a fender, or squashes a pedestrian or animal, fire up the law firms, baby. Somebody will be opening up the checkbook, and the lawyers will be celebrating with champagne, as their cars park themselves in front of the courthouse.
photo of Herbie, credit: ** Lucky Cavey ** via photopin cc
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