I've quite possibly stumbled upon the root of all of our problems here on planet Earth. God, I suspect, has not abandoned us, as some would have you think. He has simply become preoccupied with the standings in all of our major sporting events, and the individual performance of our grossly overpaid athletes. Why should we expect the Lord to spend his time sorting out our petty differences, ending war, preventing famine and starvation, etc., when there's a game on! While many a terrorist praises his particular incarnation of the incarnate, there's nothing so satisfying as hearing a man who has lost his own son to suicide thanking the Lord Almighty for letting him adorn his finger with a gaudy but much-coveted Super Bowl ring.
So, you see, if we want God to help us right our wrongs, if we want the Almighty to deliver us from our own greed, stupidity, avarice, and plain-old evil, we just need to limit his exposure to the playoffs. Of course, this theory may be completely wrong if, in fact, the Lord is female. In that case, I'm blaming Grey's Anatomy.
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