The lesser of two weevils

The title of this diatribe is the punchline of a bad joke about bugs. 'Nuff said. I'll be brief with this entry, because I'm sleepy. I just wanted to voice my consternation over the ever-increasing negative campaign ads being foisted upon us by the inspiring individuals running for public office this month. Please, someone, for the love of all that is good and decent - make them stop!

In case you're either incredibly dim or in some sort of semi-vegetative state, I'll explain just why more and more of our politicians are resorting to this disgraceful behavior in an effort to get elected to positions of power and prestige. Here's the secret that they don't want you to know: It's easier to sling mud at each other than to tell you why they'd be your best choice. Why commit to telling the voters how they plan to actually do something worthwhile, when they can just spend millions telling you that the other guy is a creep? Face it, they're pretty much all creeps. We know this. To paraphrase a famous quote, anyone who actively seeks election to public office should probably be prohibited from doing so. I'm in favor of passing a law that bans the use of negative attacks on opponents. If we're forced to watch commercial after commercial from these power-hungry jackasses, let's make them tell us what they've done so far, and what they promise to do once elected. I don't care if the other guy gave his wife a cushy government job. It doesn't matter if he gave no-bid contracts to his cronies - who wouldn't? And I don't care who he or she sleeps with - literally or figuratively speaking. If I went on a job interview and proceeded to tell the prospective employer why the other applicants were a bad choice.... well, you get the picture.

So, let's start a movement to put an end to this charade. Get the issues on the table, keep the trash talk on the basketball court, and let's elect the person with the best record and best promises. And if he or she doesn't keep those promises, let's fire them! Don't forget to vote - it doesn't really make any difference (ask Al Gore), but while we're deluding ourselves about global warming, WMD's, and our chances of ever being respected by the rest of the free world again, it's nice to think our vote matters.