You're busy, and there are now over 100 million blogs out there, so here's the deal: If something annoys, amuses, or intrigues me, it may wind up here. My blathering might just be your edification or entertainment for a few moments. Thanks for stopping by, and your comments and observations are welcome!
I am not shy about admitting my dislike for junk mail. Worse than mere junk mail, I abhor junk mail that includes plastic items that add to our pollution problem. A few months ago, I complained to Comcast (the behemoth near-monopoly in the cable and entertainment business - in case you've been in a coma for the past decade), because they sent me weekly mailings that included credit-card-sized pieces of plastic, usually containing some drivel such as "Thank You" on them. Worthless, meaningless plastic waste. Upon my request, they removed me from their list for those mailings. I doubt they stopped mailing out those plastic cards to everyone else, though.
Plastic Fantastic
Today, to my amusement and dismay, I received another mailing from the good folks at AARP. You know, the organization for retired (or just plain old) people that offers its members assorted discounts on things, in exchange for a modest $16/year membership fee, and the right to sell all of your personal information to every marketing company in creation, in perpetuity. This mailing included not one, but two plastic cards. The first - a useless, simulated membership card. The second - even more worthless, telling you about a free gift you'll receive upon becoming a member. Neither of these items required a plastic, throwaway card, of course. My guess is that somewhere, some marketing guru did research to discover that receiving a plastic card fires certain synapses in the human brain, causing increased production of dopamine, feelings of euphoria, and the absolute need to part with one's money as quickly as possible. Is that how it works on you? Me - not so much.
The kicker was the text on the letter saying, "Printed on recycled paper," and "PLEASE RECYCLE." You know, because they care so much about the environment.
Oddly, the plastic cards seem to have the opposite of their intended effect on me. They do not give me even the slightest urge to send these companies any money. They simply make me want to write posts like this one, and fire off nasty messages to the companies, asking them to stop their needless pollution. Care to join me?
If you pay any attention to the MSM outlets these days, you are, no doubt, keenly aware that our world is in a bit of turmoil. The laundry list of sad and evil occurrences around the globe is simply staggering. It has gotten to the point where I would not be at all surprised to hear the nightly news report start off something like this:
"Good evening, I'm Perky LeBlonde, and this is the right-between-late afternoon-and-early-evening news. Our top story: We are unbelievably, completely, and irretrievably screwed. According to sources wishing to remain anonymous, the party is officially over. The cost of everything on the planet has just doubled, and we've run out of all of the good stuff. Even the richest 1% of the population is unable to buy the toys that they have been looking forward to, because production on almost everything has ground to a halt. The rent is past due, the landlord has had enough, and we're being evicted. -- This just in: we have been advised by Congress to - and I quote - 'Smoke if you got 'em, find yourself a good orgy to attend, and prepare to kiss your asses goodbye. The fat lady is wailing.' We'll be back after a word from our sponsor, Satan Chemical."
So, what are the two things that our MSM needs right now?
1. A reminder that their job is to honestly report important events and disseminate unbiased, truthful information to the public. Their job is NOT to disperse propaganda that they are fed by those who wish to keep the masses complacent and pacified, nor is it to frighten or shock the public into mass hysteria with sensationalism.
2. See #1
Oh, and could you please tell that pretty weather girl to come in out of the hurricane?
A recent, exciting innovation in the automotive market is advanced technology that enables cars to parallel-park themselves, leaving the driver to attend to more pressing matters, such as finishing his or her bacon cheeseburger and latte, or snapping off a witty retort to their friend's latest text message. I am not convinced that this enhancement benefits our society, and here is why:
Plainly put, if you are thrilled about this technology because you cannot master the skill of parking your car effectively, you probably should not be operating a motor vehicle. The fact that you can point a 2-ton ballistic missile in a straight line and press two pedals does not a driver make. Parking one's car should not be something that we are above doing, nor should it be something that one can "take a pass" on, because "it's just too darned hard."
While taking a friend's daughter out for a driving lesson recently, we spent some time practicing how to parallel park. She kept repeating how much she hated it, and how scary it was. This is a generation that can manage to text 300 words/minute of nonsense to a person sitting in the same room, while excelling at their favorite virtual athletic activity on their Wii or Nintendo, while simultaneously watching commercials for the next toy that they cannot live without, while explaining to their parents why they weren't able to finish their homework or chores (do kids even have chores anymore?), because there just aren't enough hours in the day. But I digress.
There are an awful lot of awful drivers on the road today. Many are preoccupied with activities that should not be performed at the same time as operating a motor vehicle. Others simply don't take driving all that seriously, in the first place. Still others are simply ill-equipped to handle the responsibility of navigating the streets in a four-wheeled weapon. It is this last group that will be saluting and buying the cars that park themselves. They will still be a danger to the rest of us; only now, they'll be able to smile with glee and look around with pride, as onlookers marvel at how smart and talented their cars are.
This paragraph may ruffle some feathers, but I do not apologize for that. I often wonder if the invention of the automatic transmission was such a great idea. To drive a manual transmission-equipped car, you have to pay attention. You have to exercise good judgment, good physical coordination, and demonstrate a mastery of your vehicle. These are all good things. The manual transmission - like it or not - served as a legitimate filter for weeding out those people who were unable to achieve said mastery of their vehicle. This, despite being an inconvenience to some, was also a good thing. Shaving, applying makeup, eating, and exchanging text messages are all things that should be done before or after you drive your car or truck - not during the process. The manual transmission, like it or not, kind of forced drivers to - well... drive!
Our society (or, more accurately, our marketplace) constantly finds new ways to sell conveniences to the masses, thus enabling incompetent people to participate in activities that they perhaps should avoid. "So simple, an idiot can do it" doesn't necessarily mean that an idiot should. I am all for tools that enable someone who has no formal training in web design to throw together a pretty, drag-and-drop website. The worst that can come of that is a website that no one wants to visit. A bad or ignorant driver, bolstered by the confidence provided by a car that can do some of the driving for him - that almost guarantees potential trouble.
And when one of these cars malfunctions and bends a fender, or squashes a pedestrian or animal, fire up the law firms, baby. Somebody will be opening up the checkbook, and the lawyers will be celebrating with champagne, as their cars park themselves in front of the courthouse.
I made a phone call the other day, and listened to the voice mail directions, like a typical, well-trained citizen of our electronically-controlled nation. After the first flurry of directions, I was greeted with the following: "Press 1 for English, Press 2 for Spanish..." Can anyone tell me why - in the United States of America - we should have to press anything to continue in English? Don't misunderstand me - I realize that in our melting pot society, we need to be tolerant of and helpful to those who have not yet mastered English. However, having years of experience in the telephony industry, I happen to know that you can program an automated call handling system to offer those who don't speak English well an option to continue in another language, without making those who do speak English press buttons needlessly. This type of automated call handling setup is lazy, sloppy, and insulting to English-speaking Americans, as well as to those who come to our country and make the effort to learn our language. If you agree, please don't press anything to continue. By all means, though, stay on the line, because your call is important to us. photo credit: keepingtime_ca via photopincc
Hey, kind reader - have you noticed the disturbing trend in tv advertising? That trend is making adult males (usually dads) look like complete imbeciles. I understand the reason for it, from a pure marketing perspective. Women are responsible for most of the purchasing done these days, apparently. It doesn't make these commercials any less distasteful or insulting. Just in case you haven't actually noticed these ads, here are a few examples:
Lowes - A sissified hubby gets bullied not only by his wife, but by their cute little pre-teen daughter each time he sighs with relief that the house projects are finally finished. The wuss then whips out the wallet to buy whatever the girls demand next.
Cheerios - Poor Steve asks his snotty wife if she's eating Cheerios to lose weight, and winds up sheepishly saying that the cereal box also says, "Shut up, Steve."
Goodyear - the wife angrily says to her husband "You're an idiot!!" after he buys the other brand of tire.
Verizon - a father is trying to help his young daughter with her homework when he is belittled and scolded by his wife, who orders him to "leave her alone!" and go wash the dog.
Yoplait - Some pathetic numbnut gets abused by his droning girlfriend over luscious yogurt. See a write-up on this commercial here: http://adweek.blogs.com/adfreak/2010/04/yoplait-light-proves-men-can-eat-yogurt-too.html
There are many other examples; these are a few that just popped into my head. Look, you could argue that it's all in good fun, but rest assured that:
1. It is costly advertising that has been specifically designed to produce a calculated end result: Stroke the egos of females and make them feel in control of the purse strings by demeaning the male and reminding him that he is not in control of the purse strings.
2.If the people being portrayed as morons in these commercials happened to belong to some minority group - or if they were women - someone would be suing someone into homelessness.
There is already an epidemic of disrespect in this country, and now we're teaching children that it's okay to make fun of bumbling, fumbling, helpless, hopeless, doofus Dad, if the reason is to bully him into submissively buying more crap that we don't need. I'm not even a father, and I take offense to it, out of sympathy for what the Dads of America have to deal with.
Guys, if you happen to notice these derogatory, demeaning commercials, and you still have some self-respect, take note of the advertisers. Then, buy your stuff from those advertiser's competitors. Or better yet, send an email to the company, and let them know you'll cease doing business with them until they stop disrespecting the American male for the sake of a buck. And women - if you still have any respect left for your boyfriends and hubbies, you can do the same on their behalf. Think about how you'd feel if the ads made all women look like boobs. (That pun was too good to pass up, sorry.) I like a good, hilarious stereotype as much as anybody, but not when it is designed expressly to subconsciously manipulate our purchasing behavior. If we want to see stupid dads behaving like morons, we can watch the Simpsons or Family Guy. At least we'll understand the point of the satire.
On a more positive advertising note - kudos to Travelers Insurance for their brilliant (and entertaining) campaign showing wild animals hanging out with their predators in peaceful harmony. That's creative advertising!
The debate rages on over the captive marine mammal issue, but the moral and ethical implications of capturing these animals for our fun and profit is becoming increasingly clear.
Update (December 9, 2015):
Another film was released in 2013, documenting the plight of the Orca or Killer Whale, as they're called. The film is called "Blackfish." It details the story of Tilikum, a captive Sea World Orca that has been responsible for several human deaths (this, despite the fact that there is no record of an Orca ever attacking a human in the wild). Here is the trailer:
If you're like me, (you're probably not, but that's a popular way to get people's attention), you most likely receive more offers for credit cards in a given month than you'd like. C'mon, you know you do. Yes, you've contacted DMAchoice.org and any other agency who can help to reduce your junk mail, but still the envelopes come. What do you do with them? If you're like most folks (see, it really does work), you either throw them straight in the round file (a.k.a. trash can) or you exercise your right to protect your privacy by shredding them. Here's a suggestion for a much more effective process:
Start saving them. Then, once a week, or once a month, or whenever it's convenient, take the stack into the bathroom with you when you're about to make a deposit. Open the envelopes, and place the contents - minus any identifying information - into the bank's postage-paid return envelopes. Heck, mix and match - be creative. Again, be sure to remove anything that can identify you, or you'll just wind up getting even more junk mail. Do NOT take advantage of the fact that you are currently producing bodily waste to adorn the paper with your genetic signature (although this could both save toilet paper and give you a brief sense of satisfaction) -- that's unsanitary and just plain wrong. Pop the return envelopes in the mailbox, and don't forget to shred the parts with your personal information on them.
This will result in the following:
1. More income for the poor, beleaguered Post Office - they need the cash, apparently.
2. Less incentive for the banks and credit card companies to keep killing trees and bombarding us with this junk every week. If they have to pay to receive and process millions of envelopes stuffed with unwanted, useless crap in them (kinda like what they send us), they might actually rethink the practice of annoying us with these relentless offers in the first place.
3. Less trees needlessly wasted on this junk.
4. Less junk mail you have to shred, since it contains information that people might use to steal your identity.
5. A chance to hit the banks in the only place it hurts them - the bottom line - as a signal that you're tired of their practices.
It takes very little effort on your part, it feels somewhat satisfying, and it's democracy in action. It's a chance to speak your mind with demonstrative action, and maybe help inspire positive change. If you like this idea, by all means, spread the word around and let's start a movement. In order to do good, we must first do something.
